Life

7 Confessions Of An Overthinker

Salome Ayugi

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If I could transfer the thoughts in my head at any one given time onto a blank page, it would have lots of glitter, blobs of ink, different wavy lines coloured like the rainbow, black lines across the page and pink stars as a border line. This is what it feels like to be an overthinker. There is usually so much going on in my little head. If my blank page analogy didn’t give you a picture clear enough about how it feels to overthink, here are 7 confessions of what I go through daily.

1. Finding ‘hidden’ meaning in almost everything

Sherlock Holmes must be an ancestor of overthinkers. Remember how he could find clues from what the normal mind would just ignore? Well, that is what overthinkers do too (excluding solving crimes with our overanalysis) If I do not get an immediate text response, I start to go over what I could have done to the person. Do not even get me started on emojis. I have assigned detailed meanings to each emoji on earth.

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The smile I make when I get a happy emoji in a text

2. Extreme pessimism or optimism

After a date gone well, an overthinker can start to play out how the proposal will go and what she will call their fourth child. In the case that an initial meeting goes wrong, I deconstruct what I may have said, worn or hinted to make the day turn out horrible.

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3. It is difficult to sleep

I find it difficult to sleep because I am still struggling to forget the moment I went to dye my hair red in my second year of campus and it turned out pinkish maroon  instead. It takes years for embarrassing moments to become funny to me.

4. Perfectionism

Everything. Must. Go According. To. Plan

I am never late to meetings, have mild O.C.D and I am rarely spontaneous. I always think ahead. Being abrupt has its consequences. It is for this reason that I know I will make a strict mother (sorry future offspring).

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5. Decisions at social meetings are a chore

Whenever my friends and I go out to a restaurant (which they obviously picked first), I always wait to see what they will order before making mine. I once looked at a menu for 15 minutes at a friend’s birthday dinner and just asked her to decide my order for me. Long menus make me nervous! Deciding where to eat or meet up is equally draining.

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The confused look I give when a waiter asks me for my order

6. Limited concentration

I may be having a conversation with a friend and find myself discussing something completely unrelated. In other instances, I just drift into my own thoughts when I am around people. I have no clue how my friends have kept up with me for so long.

7. Paranoia

If I see people look at me in town or in church, I always assume they have something negative to say or are talking about me behind my back. Nobody can be trusted.

All in all, I am working on this flaw of overthinking. Baby steps. If you are an overthinker or related to any of my confessions, please let me know how you cope in the comment section.

Have a great weekend!

Photography by Bobo Visuals

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45 thoughts on “7 Confessions Of An Overthinker”

  2. I always thought I ma alone in this.
    I always take close to ten minutes thinking of what to answer a simple questions especially a text.
    Its however both a strength and a weakness to me.

    I totally relate.Nice post

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  3. I always thought I was alone in this…It always takes me close to ten minutes before answering a simple question especially when texting.To me its both a strength and a weakness.
    I totally relate.Nice post

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  4. Unfortunately, I can relate to this. Especially number 6 where I zone out completely during dinner with family then I remember that funny meme I saw online and start giggling, then that awkward moment everyone Is looking at you like “Are you sure you are ok?”. SMH

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  11. I can totally relate to these experiences, at times i can’t sleep just overthinking, a text can take me forever to settle on what to reply, am always imagining people are talking about me whenever am in a social place and always trying to be perfect. Atleast now i know am not alone !

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    1. Hi Margaret. Thanks so much for sharing. I think for paranoia, you can try positive thinking till it becomes a habit. I hear that after telling yourself positive messages, it will trump over the negative in the long term

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  14. I can relate with all these. I notice almost everything that happens around me and I always find myself trying to uncover why things happened the way they happened.

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  15. Other that the daily overanalysis of actions, overthinking has ruined many a relationship for me. And the worst part is, you KNOW you overthink but you cannot find the off switch for the life of you.

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  16. “I am never late to meetings, have mild O.C.D and I am rarely spontaneous. I always think ahead. Being abrupt has its consequences. It is for this reason that I know I will make a strict mother (sorry future offspring).”

    Hahaha that part perfectly describes be. I just can’t help but plan EVERYTHING!! Oh Lawd!

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  18. That’s so me at almost all levels. Now on what people are thinking,I just don’t care. I have come to learn that people will talk both positive and negative,I will be me. I have come to also embrace and not fight the me, but think of my strengths. Jesus will help me work out my other side. Its progress, we are perfectly imperfect.

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  21. I relate to this. I hate that i can’t help how or how much i think but i hate it more that i might be pissing off the people around me. I tend to zone out n i will ask a question a thousand times before i get the assurance i need or before it sinks in. Nowadays i get comfort in thinking that normal people don’t think like me so i shouldn’t think so much about whatever it is i’m thinking about

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  22. These are traits of a controlling person. learning that I am not in control of the whole world but a higher being( I call him God) is in control, has helped me let this behaviour go.
    I now have choices and they may not be the right ones according to others but they are mine, which is a great release from this “need to control everything” prison I was in.
    As someone said, the positive side of this trait is that I am a damn good planner and leader.

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